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25 September, 2020

Scrunch or fold? A universal question needing answers

Welcome back to Wayne’s World – my very distinctive view on all matters of grave importance and essential in ensuring our universe continues to function and thrive.

By Wayne Marshall

Now, here is a dirty, grubby subject, that like it or not, we all face every day. Toilet paper – now not just one discussion piece, not two but three very low down topics we need to flush out in greater detail. 

 First is the much argued topic of how the dunny roll is placed on the wall holder. Now do you have the roll where it is easily ripped over the top or heaven forbid fumbled out of sight and underneath. 

 Second is how many sheets do you use for one wipe. Now I am told that the standard is five. But paint me purple, I find this number dangerously close to finger dipping so for me it is eight. 

 Third and not the least important is how the package is delivered. 

Do you quickly scrunch it up swipe and release or do you delicately fold it up and do the dainty wipe or are you the hand wrapper for use of both sides and squirm off the hand to flush. 

 Well here’s hoping ya chooks don’t turn into emus and kick your dunny door down. See you next week for some more earth-shattering insights to life. 

Wayne.

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