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17 September, 2021

Wayne’s World: Very loud and proud

G’DAY Tropicairnsians,

By Wayne Marshall

LAST Saturday was my scheduled rostered off weekend, so, did the washing, then cooked up some blueberry pancakes with maple syrup and double dollop cream for brekky. Cleaned the apartment before picking a Hawaiian shirt that I have not worn for a while.

I set about painting my beard to suit, all while consuming the required 3 cups off tar.

What was needed now was to select the right hat before hitting the town. Once that huge decision was concluded it was time to slam the front door on my backside and get motivated.

  Now I don’t know what you get up to on your days off. For me it’s retail therapy and walking around greeting, meeting, chatting with locals and visitors to the bestest part of Aussie.

With number 4 cup of tar in hand my wanderings takes me past Lowes, my favorite shirt shop.

There on the racks are two new bright as can be items that are not in my collection.

Without a second thought, these two are secured to become part of my now 119 Hawaiian shirt wardrobe.

Alright I know what you are thinking, who in their right mind has that many Hawaiians but to tell the truth who ever said I was right in the noggin??

 This brings me back to a yarn I’d like to tell ya.

It was in the late 90s while working for Pollards Galvanizing as the Sales Rep, here in the north.

Around the whole of North Queensland, we used to have Tropical Shirt Fridays and it was absolutely fantastic to see the majority of Tropicairnsians in bright colors.

Well, my manager Marcus and I were big fans of this concept to the point we decided to have a private competition that  we called Loud Shirt Fridays and the grand final was to be Christmas eve with a slab as the prize.

The contest was fierce over the next 3 months with many customers commenting that we should be handing out sunglasses to all that entered our gates, and in my mind, I was winning the race and getting pretty cocky that the grand final prize was mine.

Well Christmas eve arrives and being the last day of work for the year everyone arrived in excellent moods, I turned up feeling ten feet tall with what was described by many as the most blindingly brightest yellow, black, and orange shirt that could be found in the north, and then walks in Marcus with an average orange and red shirt, well my enthusiasm was sky high until he reached for his top pocket and pressed a button that had this bloody thing light up brighter than any Christmas tree I have seen.

Custom hand-made in Bali, I can tell ya that people were in danger of slipping over and drowning in my tears as I walked off to buy the mongrel a slab.

Merry bloody Christmas indeed.

 Well, that could probably explain my obsession with owning so many bright colorful shirts, but does it explain my fascination of spending hours painting the beard.

 Please bring back Tropical Shirt Fridays.


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