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15 July, 2021

Wayne’s World: A coffee or 3 makes the day seem right

G’DAY Tropicairnsians, Coffee, coffee, coffee said three times in the morning before you open your eyes is my way of slowly waking that strange weird spongy thing between my ears.

By Wayne Marshall

I do try hard not to jolt my brain awake too rudely, as I need to maximise its function and efficiency for some part of the coming day.

This doesn’t always work; however, I have found if I utter first coffee, coffee, coffee in the morning my day does get better.

So now I am awake, I have to get my battered and tired body up and moving. The best way for this to happen in Wayne’s World is the attraction of getting three strong black coffees in my gob, that’s right: 3 mugs of tar ingested before the front door hits my large backside as I exit.

So far so good, in the Jeep and off to Cruze for another hit. MMM... Irish cream with toffee is my favourite blend and Gil’s crew are skilled in their trade and with 4 coffees in the guts, it is time to join the humans in pondering and solving the meaning of life.

I was putting on my glasses the other day and read that the medical boffins are suggesting that 4 or more coffees per day can cause blindness or even heart disease, which probably falls in line with the warnings my doctor gave me years ago when I was in sales.

I was on the road traveling around FNQ drinking approximately 17 mugs of tar a day, apparently that was not good for me.

Talk about limiting my fun and being a paid-up member of the ‘fun-police’.

He made me cut down to a reasonable amount so the new normal is now five buckets per day and none at least three hours before snoring time.

But when walking around this beautiful city while totally caff’d up and talking to various northern dwellers asking about their coffee survival stories that it seems there’s one common thread.

Don’t talk or invade my space until I’ve consumed sufficient caffeine, and I seemed to be sufficiently hyped up as if I’ve drunk a bottle of red cordial.

For those that had ankle biters, the suggestion of a good Irish coffee or three to start the day sounds good, and manageable. 

So here is my tip for those like me, with that annoying cheery morning attitude, check for blood-soaked eyes and hand tremors before making the greeting of G’day mate.



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