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10 December, 2020

Wayne's World: All over the Dad Jokes like a donkey on a waffle

G’day Tropicairnians,

By Wayne Marshall

 Now here is a subject that affects every single one of us, pathetically bad Dad jokes.

 Who the hell ever allowed these to be used in modern society?

What I do mean is that when it comes to these lowest forms of attempted humour I am probably the worst offender (the Grand Poo-bah of DJs) whilst standing at the front of the big green box.

Some prime examples:

You: walking out with bags of garden rocks,

Me: I see your going home to get stoned.

You: carrying sheets of timber,

Me: I see your board.

You: with fire extinguisher,

Me: you must be hot stuff.

And this goes on and on with no shame on my sideand absolutely zero remorse,  and if anything I get worse as the day goes on.

 Most Aussie dads have their signature unoriginal joke that they trot out to anyone who will listen, much to the embarrassment of their children.

The dad joke is notoriously unfunny — steeped in painful puns and captain-obvious observations.

 Here are a few more to make you cringe:

1. When you’re driving past a cemetery and dad pipes up with: I bet everyone is dying to get in there.

2. Dad: What do you want for dinner? Kid: I feel like a pizza. Dad: Well, you don’t look like one!

3. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Nice food, no atmosphere.

4. What’s the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half.

5. Why was the cook arrested? He was caught beating an egg.

6. You know people say they pick their nose? I was just born with mine.

7. Your wife asks you to put the kettle on, your answer, I tried, but it doesn’t fit

8. The waiter asked how you found your meal, your reply, I looked down and there it was.

Knock knock, who’s there? Centipede, Centipede who? Santa peed on the Christmas tree..

Handy hint for when you see me smiling looking very mischievous, start running with your fingers in ears as I am probably getting ready to offload some bad dad jokes.

 Keep smiling or otherwise you might get Trumped. Ha Ha another bad dad joke.

 Wayne.


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