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22 May, 2021

Gazza's Goss: It's a dunny debacle

FOR years, it has never ceased to amaze me how many ‘FGAs’ are unable to manipulate a basic lavatory.


Now when I say ‘FGAs’, I’m not talking about a new chain of popular and convenient supermarkets... I’m talking about ‘Fully Grown Adults’.

This is not entirely an Aussie problem, as I have unfortunately seen this scenario in all countries where I have lived and the example here is far from a one off.

In fact, it seems that lavatorial misconduct happens more often than not.

The picture to our right, refers to one particular case of dunny disaster in our beautiful Port Douglas.

This public convenience that I have regularly frequented, for all the correct reasons of course, is one that continuously resembles scenes from areas of unrest in the Middle East.

These particular ablutions are in a popular eating area and are shared by numerous eateries.

Great effort is made to make each user’s visit a memorable one. With ten minutes provided to deal with the job in hand before the automatic door reopens.

To add the true ‘X Factor’ to this outhouse opportunity, one can hum along to a potential award-winning instrumental rendition of ‘What the World Needs Now’.

What the world actually needs now are more ‘Fully Grown Adults’ capable of managing their mess and respecting other normal, decent people.

The scenario of young children being to blame for this public convenience carnage is no excuse.

Even if no prior formal toilet training has taken place for the youngster in question, surely their parents or caregivers must take responsibility for ensuring that the facilities are left in a fit condition for the next visitor.

Let’s not forget that first impressions are important, especially for new visitors to our town and after months of pandemic concern, every little bit helps to ensure the recent surge in visitors is not a flash in the pan.

Just in case this article has made you feel a little flushed, rest assured most ‘FGAs’ are actually wonderful courteous people and if that applies to you, simply continue doing what comes naturally.

Having ensured that the seat is properly placed in the down position, it’s time to say, until next week, this is Gazza signing out.


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You can catch up with Gazza each weekday afternoon between 4-7 pm  on 90.9 FAB FM in Port Douglas.

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