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18 March, 2021

Wayne's World: No-one ever asks for the second kick

A kick in the groin is more painful than child birth - True?

By Wayne Marshall

G’day Tropicairnians,

 Today I wish to tackle an extremely sensitive topic. Please excuse me for raising this issue whilst you are obviously tucking into your eggs on toast and short black or Earl Grey tea.

But this topic although sensitive needs discussion, and is destined to strongly divide readers, and may I add, create tremendous debate.

Now, how and why did I ever decide to open this can of worms, well I guess I can blame a bloke I ran across last week.

 I was helping this fine upstanding and very deep-thinking gent the other day in the big green box with some project problems when for some reason he shared with me a recent event he experienced at home.

Here is his story (totally sad but true).

 I mowed the lawn last weekend, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, I said, “Nothing.”

The reason I said “nothing” instead of saying “just thinking” is because she then would have asked, “About what?”

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

The subject we are about to review in great details is one of the Family Jewels.

Now not the family jewels as discussed on Soap-Opera Winfrey with Megan Sparkle and Hostage Harry.

But the Family Jewels where Megan firmly kicked the Royal Family, you know the Gonads, Dangly Bits, Bollocks or to be blunt Testicles.

Finally, I pondered the age-old question: ‘Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the gonads?’

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the gonads, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the gonads is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn’t really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.”

But you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the gonads.”

The defence rests your honor!

Time for another beer. And perhaps maybe a nap. All these deep thoughts are very exhausting.

 So, there we have a very sensitive topic discussed in great detail. Who knew the answer would be so easy. Much easier than child-birth or a jolly decent kick to the nether region.



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